Tuesday, April 24, 2012

One of THOSE Moms With THOSE Kids

You know when you go out to eat with your family and there's that screaming crying child? You know, the one that makes you not enjoy your meal, makes you roll your eyes and think to yourself, "why can't you shut your child up?" Well, I never could understand that crying child or their parents, I never had a problem with Ellyssa, she was always so perfectly behaved. It wouldn't be until many years later that I would realize she was an EASY baby. The reflection of a good parent that I thought I had because she wasn't that child was false.

Although I hope I'm still the good parent that I thought I was back then, I have come to the realization that the screaming child is not always a reflection of the parents. Alex is different, or "special" as I call him. Now, I try not to make excuses for him all the time because he's very smart and can understand me, but the fact is, there's a communication barrier between us. The things he thinks he can't put into words to tell me what he's thinking or feeling or wanting. As said, I still try my best to understand him and try to help him. I do everything in my power to not be the ones ruining someone else's meal. If I just can't get him quiet I rush my meal and we leave. I try so hard to be respectful of others. Yesterday was a different story.

After all of us being sick for two weeks, I decided it wasn't allergies like I had thought it was, so off to the doctor we went. Luckily my mom was off work so I asked her to go with me to help because as much of a handful as AJ is, Lyssa is worse if she hears the word, "shot." The drama began in the waiting room.

AJ will only sit still for a maximum of about five minutes, so when we hit ten minutes I was very impressed. He wiggled and squirmed and just had to get down. He harmlessly played with some blocks and some toys that were attached to a wooden fire truck and then that got old. It was time to climb on and off the table that you are supposed to play with the blocks on. I just sat and watched while my mom and I talked. That got old and he started crawling under all the chairs then a couple of laps around the waiting room then back to on and off the table. My mom, knowing how I am about noisy children, asked why I hadn't told him no at this point. My response, "I have to pick my battles with him and him being loud and playing is a lot better than the alternative." At this point, I'm just physically and mentally exhausted, barely have a voice, and was being one of THOSE moms, just letting my child run wild.

When the laps around the waiting room started, I intervened and picked him up. That's when the battle began, the kicking screaming and WW III temper came out. To my mom's shock, she laughed. She couldn't believe what happened when he was told no and was stopped from doing what he wanted to do. She couldn't believe the thrashing he was doing in my arms. The only way to make him stop: stand up or walk around. Yes, I'm fully aware that is what you do with little newborns, but it's what works with AJ even though he's twenty months old. Keep in mind AJ still cannot talk.

My mom and I kept him occupied by switching back and forth holding him, standing and walking with him until time to go into a room where there were no toys. He tried to empty the garbage, he opened every drawer/door, and tried to pull all of the table paper off the roll. He likes to tear the paper up, so I thought it might keep him busy to put him on the table and allow him to tear the paper up. No, he wasn't interested in the paper, he wanted to jump to the ground, head first. After the third time I caught him, I took him off the table and that was another fight.

He began to fight to try to climb up on the table himself and when he couldn't, he threw himself in the floor and kicked and screamed. My mom then said, "I can't imagine you doing this by yourself." I said, "I do it all the time, Benji only comes when it's a check up that is planned and he can request off work." I guess now I understand THOSE moms, some don't care it's true, but some do try and they are just tired, just don't know what to do. So, before you judge THOSE moms and their children, and think your children are so much better and you're so much better of a parent than someone else, just realize you're blessed to have the perfectly behaved children. I have one of each and yes, I'm one of THOSE moms.

1 comment :

  1. Been there done that with Josh at that age. :( Your a great mom!! Josh would easily get frustrated because we weren't understanding what he was trying to communicate to us. Just keep doing the things you are and it will all come in time.. HUGS

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