First, I want to welcome all of the Kelly's Korner readers. This is only my second linked blog, but only first for Kelly's Korner. Welcome to Tesha's Treasures as well. This is a topic that's very hard for everyone who has lost a baby or a child, but I'm glad to share my story.
It was 3:00 am on August 17, 1998, I was 25 weeks and two days pregnant and I saw blood, lots of it. I screamed for my mom, because I was only seventeen and still lived at home. With panic on her face, but not in her voice, she woke my dad up and they drove me to the ER. I was in the most pain of my life. We walked in and told the nurse I was having a miscarriage. She asked my due date, which was December, 9, and I was then told, that no, I was having a baby because I was more than 20 weeks. So it was off to labor and delivery.
Once there and in a gown, I was presented with all kinds of forms and nurses came from every direction with needles. In my pain I wanted my mom to sign the paperwork, but I was told no that I was "the mom" so I had to sign. My doctor wasn't on call, his partner, Dr. Stutts, was so my first time to meet him I'm doing so in this situation. My contractions were lasting approximately 20 seconds, which wouldn't be that long if they weren't 30 seconds apart. I kept being told not to push, but as hard as I tried not to, my body did anyway. Dr. Stutts checked me and I was not dilated, so he said to hang tight that he had the c-section team on their way. He reached for the door knob and my water broke. All the pain and pressure was gone, and I was relaxing. However, Dr. Sttuts turned around and all I could do was say I was sorry for pushing. He checked me and I was fully dilated, yes that's right, zero to ten in about 2 minutes. My relaxation, was now a dire emergency.
My son's heart rate went from 150 to 80 and I wasn't even aware that during all of this I was losing too much blood. He told my parents that he couldn't wait for the c-section team any longer, or he could lose both of us. This was how I left my parents, standing in the room scared and me crying for them, I was 17 and didn't know what was going on. I was rushed away from them and into a very cold very busy operating room. I poked and prodded and was in pain again from everything they were doing. I then heard, "c-section team is here put her out." Someone put a mask over my face and said breathe.
I woke up to hearing the best sound in the world, at that time, it was my doctor, Dr. Richmond's voice. It's funny now, but wasn't then, my comment was, "Finally a familiar face." But I was actually so out of it I didn't open my eyes for another hour. My concern at that time, breastfeeding my new son, because he needed those vitamins. I was told I could pump later, but he was critical and I couldn't touch him. After finally coming out of recovery, I got to see my parents and that was so wonderful, for all of us. Still scared I had no idea what was going on with my son.
Finally the door opened, in came nurses and this little clear box, with this tiny little baby doll in it with a lot of tubes. It was my son, all one pound and fourteen ounces of him and stretching to a whole thirteen inches. They wanted me to see him before he left for Huntsville, as I couldn't go with him. He was on his way to Children's Hospital to get the special care that he needed. Oblivious to what day or time it was, I called my best friend in the area, Susie, but she didn't answer. So, I called the next best thing, Beth. Beth's mom answered and sounded puzzled that I called because school started back that day. Yes, our senior year. I actually wasn't going to go that year because I received my GED at the end of May and was registered for classes at the University of North Alabama, that were supposed to start the next week.
I received a call to the room to let me know that my son was leaving the hospital, then another one when the ambulance was half way there. Then another when they arrived, that call was from my son's new doctor. Each time the phone rang, my dad answered as the phone wasn't near me and no one knew I was there. Each time he said, "One moment." and handed me the phone. The next time the phone rang I tensed up and said, "You talk to them Daddy." My dad tried to hand me the phone and I had tears in my eyes and said, "no Dad I don't want to hear it." He told them that I wanted him to talk to them and yes, it was what I thought. When my dad hung up he just looked at me and began to cry. He then said, "He didn't make it."
My beautiful baby boy, William Adrian, born at 7:24 am went to Heaven at 1:45 pm that afternoon. This was SUCH a crushing blow to me and my family, but what made the day worse was that no one contacted the hospital that I was in to tell them. So, I continued to get the, "how is your son?" question. I was then confronted with people from everywhere on if I was suicidal and depressed. I calmly looked and them and said, "If it hurts me this badly after knowing him for six months, do you really think I would take myself from my parents after 17 years?" Socked by my mature answer, the questions stopped. All of a sudden the most wonderful nurse appeared in my doorway, her name was Joyce Mize. She held my hand and comforted me through everything. She even came to his funeral and kept in touch over the years.
That night, I called my life-long best friend, Karen, to tell her what happened. Again oblivious of what day it was, she was celebrating her 17th birthday. Now, those two events are linked in my mind forever. Being the person she is, she walked away from her party to talk to me and comfort me. We now lived four and a half hours away from each other, so the phone was all we had to communicate.
Days passed and even the funeral, but things didn't get any easier. Susie came to the funeral along with Nurse Mize and some family and Judy McMeans, my parents' life time friend. My days were complicated by harassing calls from the high school because apparently someone took a newspaper to school and decided it would be fun to laugh at what I went through and just pass it around the school and people took turns using the payphone and calling my house. Time went by and things in my life began to change for the better. I decided God knew I wasn't ready to take care of Adrian. I was in an abusive relationship, not just mentally, but physically as well. I was only 17 and with the health problems that he would probably have had, he was definitely better, "in the arms of an Angel."
Time passed and I eventually began to heal. I got away from that abusive relationship for good. Then in May of 2000, I was cramping and hurting and couldn't explain it. My mom took me to the ER and found out that I was six weeks pregnant and now had another Angel. It wasn't until the next year that I would welcome my first baby. She was beautiful, happy, and very healthy. Ellyssa Jo was born by c-section at 7:34 am on November 20, 2001. She weighed in at seven punds and nine ounces and was twenty inches long. She was born at 37 weeks two days.
When everything was falling into place in my life I was pregnant again. It was March 2005. My boyfriend was amazing and moved in with me to be closer to me, Lyssa, and our new addition. I was due December 19th. I barely told anyone because of things that happened previously. My mom also decided to start a new business and I may have overdone it helping her, but at thirteen weeks, I had another Angel.
It wasn't until 2010 that my husband and I would complete our family. It seemed odd that when I didn't want to be pregnant, I was very very fertile, but when we wanted to get pregnant it took almost 5 years. We welcomed Alexander Jacob on August 18, 2010. Yes, one day after my baby boy's birthday. AJ weighed in at seven pounds and thirteen ounces and was twenty inches long. He was born at 37 weeks one day. You can read more about the complications with him here.
Our family is now complete and I have two Angels in Heaven and my husband and I have one Angel in Heaven and two children. I look back now and see the path that losing my first born started. Moving, jobs, choices, everything I have now is a result of what happened when I was seventeen years old. I am blessed beyond and one day I will meet them again.